Thoughts on Painting - Beloved

I thought it was about time I wrote a post on art....this blog is called a "apaintersmind" isn't it?

This painting,

I started 3 years ago. Seriously.

It began just as a sketch. I was at church in worship, and I was inspired to sketch this I did. I loved the little sketch, and during the sermon, our pastor Scott Williams got really passionate and started yelling "You are Wanted! You are Beloved!!" I thought it fit perfectly with my sketch, so I sketched the words "You are Beloved" next to it.

I knew I wanted to turn this sketch into a painting.

Only a week later, there was a youth conference at the Victory Church and I was asked to be part of teaching a workshop called "Creative Arts in Church". I came equipped with canvas, paints and some drawings and paintings I had created during worship. My husband and his worship band were doing all the music for the youth conference, and after I had taught the workshop, he asked me to stay for the evening for worship. Then he got the brilliant idea to ask his worship leader if myself and my friend Kendra could paint on stage during their worship set. This is something we would do at our own church The Gate, but we weren't sure how this Victory Church and all the people there would accept it.

We decided to go ahead with it. For an hour and a half Kendra and I painted on stage. I painted my "Beloved" sketch. After worship, I had SOOOOOO many people come up to me and tell me how touched they were by my painting, that my painting meant something to them. I also got OFFERS to buy it....we're talking like a thousand dollars! All it was was underpainting...I had barely even scratched the surface of this painting, and I had layers of paint to go. I was flattered that my painting had spoken to people, and I knew this painting was from God. I had ideas for where this painting would end up and how it would look when it was finished.

I think I got home with my painting and got overwhelmed. This painting had so much to live up to. It had a THOUSAND DOLLARS to live up to. So I didn't continue to paint it. I wouldn't go back to it until I felt myself as an artist could live up to the vision of this painting.

A year passed.

Then 6 months.

I got up the courage and put a few more layers of paint on the canvas. My husband told me he didn't really like the new paint.

So I left it alone.

And another year passed.

It's now been 3 years and that's all I have done on this painting. I still have people who remember this painting, and remember when I painted it during the worship service. I still have people offering me money for when I finish it. I have so much attachment to this painting. I have stressed and thought about it for 3 YEARS! When I do finally finish it I don't know if I can sell it and give it up.

I'm so torn over this painting. I want it to be finished...I think it is a powerful painting that others need to see. I just don't remember what I intended for it to look like.

This painting was the beginning of my break from painting. Maybe soon I will get back into it. Maybe soon this painting will see a few more layers of paint.


Vanessa said...

Painting sounds like it is one of your passions...I'm glad you didn't simply give it up, but only went on a break. You'll know when you're ready to get back to it. I think that having a creative outlet is a great way to stay sane as a mommy - hopefully we'll see some new artwork posted soon? (no pressure!)

kindra said...

You know I'm starting to feel like maybe my break from painting is coming to an end...I'm not ready to go back to "Beloved" yet, but I have had some ideas for paintings for Eva's room since she was in my womb. Every time I walk into her room and see the bare walls, I imagine the paintings there. So maybe soon :)

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