On August 2nd, it will be the anniversary of my mom passing away 9 years ago.  I was still a teenager at the time and she was my everything.  The family member I was closest to.  The one to share with and ask embarrassing questions to.  The connection to my roots; my grandparents, aunt, uncles, cousins.  I lost all that when she died.  I didn't get a weekly phone call from my mom, so in turn, lost the updates on family members.  I was too young and immature to keep those relationships alive and vibrant with visits and Christmas cards and the like.
Up until last year, I had only seen my family once since she died.  ONCE.  In eight years.  My Grandma's farm is a 12 hour drive away and last Easter I stopped giving the excuses of not having the time or the money, packed up my girls, and drove.  It turned into such an amazing trip for myself and my girls; I felt this warm embrace of my mom in the familiar surroundings.
Each family member: my Grandma and Grandpa, my Aunt, my Uncles, they all possess qualities of her and I was so moved by seeing her in everyone.

It's easy to forget and go about my day to day living without her, but being surrounded by stories and pictures and my Grandma's laugh that sounds like hers, I just couldn't get enough.

This Easter, I packed up my girls and did it all again.  I've vowed to myself to do this at least once a year; it's good for my soul.  Seeing my Aunt play guitar and sing with my girl, my Grandpa busting out his fiddle and toe tapping his foot as he did since I was a baby, my Grandma making magic in her kitchen....

I need it.  I need it to be reminded of her and how much I am like her.  I need to hear those stories and be wrapped in the memories.

I'm a lucky mother.  Even though I work, I get to bring my kid with me.  It's been a wonderful (and challenging) year having Eva with me at preschool.  She actually calls me "Teacher Kindra" and she loves to sit in my teacher chair after the kids have gone home and pretend that she's the teacher.  She'll talk to imaginary kids and makes them count and do their abc's and dress Mr. Weather Bear.

I started a new book bag program over a month ago, where I filled bags and back packs with different books that the kids get to take home every week.  Each child has their own duotang to draw pictures and tell me their favorite part of the story.  This was the first day that I sent home book bags for the weekend, and Eva's eyes lit up and slipped the bag over her shoulders with such pride.

I've been so happy that for the most part, Eva and Isabella are the best of friends.  They will ask for each other when the other is not around, run upstairs to play and I'll hear them whispering or giggling together over something.

Yet, of course, there's always a bit of sibling rivalry.  Isabella is a true younger sister and loves to poke at Eva and bug her until she screams.  She will steal something from her and run away smiling and laughing with glee as Eva squeals at her to bring it back.  Eva is a true older sister and is bossy and freaks out when Bella won't do what she wants her to.

After a particularly tough day of arguing between the girls, Steve and I were tucking Eva into bed and praying with her.

Mom and Dad: Eva can you please pray and ask Jesus to help you to be a good sister and friend to Bella?

Eva: Ok.
Dear Jesus,
Please help Bella to stop bugging me.  Help her to be quiet and leave me alone.

Amen.

Kids are funny.  A terrible playdate one time with non-stop fighting, a wonderful playdate the next where there's kisses, hugs and laughter.

I'm finding that as Eva progresses through this amazing age of Three, she is continuing to become better at playing WITH others rather than just playing beside them.  She will grab her friend's hand and say "C'mon lets go!" and off they will run together to have a pretend picnic or tea party.

These girls get to be in preschool together next year, so there will be lots more fun and friendship to come.  Hopefully.

I never had a sister, so I get really giddy at the thought of what that means for my girls.  A privilege not every one gets, so I hope my girls appreciate what that means.

Oh my girls. You have no idea how lucky you are.

Sometimes the balls juggling in the air cease to stay in sync, my hands jerky and awkward, fumbling until things fall one by one.  I clumsily pick things up and try to get my rhythm back, but it always takes a few tries to get it right.

I've been focusing a ton on work lately, as well as a bout of week long sickness that took me out of commission (for the FOURTH time this year).  Our days of magic and wonder have resorted to hours and hours of being plunked in front of the t.v.; my patience is thin and the girls disobedient.  Today I enforced a week long fast from the t.v. for both me and the girls to rid the junk out of our systems and it always takes a bit of revolting to settle into a life with no television.  I attempted a "super fun" picnic lunch under the table, complete with pita pizzas and Bella only screamed and yelled at me, got mad that we weren't sitting in our chairs to eat and then pouted by lying face down on the floor.

Eva was happy as a clam, so I guess I partially won.

Here's to getting things back on track.

For two little girls who only have two grandparents left in their young lives, they are so very lucky to have the relationships they do.  Grammy lives in the same city as us and the girls visit her weekly.  While Poppa lives over six hours away, we still have the privilege of visiting with him several times a year.  And he has definitely captured these girls hearts.

Poppa is a generous spirit, spoiling the girls to their hearts content.  They always look forward to the treats Poppa will bring.  They squeal with delight when Poppa phones "I wanna talk to Poppa!" and even more so when Poppa comes to visit.  Each of them crawls into his lap, plastering him with hugs and kisses, basking in the joy that is Family.

They watch movies together, play games and read mounds of books.  I remember Eva being 11 months old and bringing Poppa "The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Other Nursery Rhymes" for him to read over and over and over again, crawling up and down out of his lap.  Things really haven't changed.  Whatever the book of the moment is, Poppa's book reading is put on repeat; this trip's book being "The Cow Loved Cookies".





Poppa is silly and makes funny noises, the girls laughing huge hearty laughs that make me melt.  He tickles and blows raspberries making the girls squeal with glee.





We love you so very much Poppa.  Thank you for being you.

Oh, my big girl.

An impromptu sleepover after the baby shower, meant: coffee and extra hangout time with our sweet friends, homemade breakfast sandwiches, checking out cool shops, and a carousel ride before we hit the road for home.

Wednesday morning the girls woke up and sauntered down to breakfast to see a entire picnic set up for them in our living room.

A Rocket Picnic, more specifically.

Eva showing me how excited Rocket is for his picnic.

This picnic was purely Eva's idea.  We had a Teddy Bear Picnic not too long ago at preschool, and then we read a story about a Pig's Picnic.  She was playing pretend one day and told me she was having a Rocket Picnic.  She listed off to me everything she had at her pretend picnic: Rocket sandwiches (which had to be peanut butter), Rocket songs, Rocket movies, Rocket muffins (chocolate chip) and Rocket Decorations.  She came home and immediately started making her decorations.

Rocket flying is the big circle.  The little circles along the bottom are Leo, Quincy, June and Annie.

A really big picture of rocket.

She had done a fabulous job of making her Rocket decorations and continued to talk about having this picnic that I felt I needed to write down her ideas.  A few days later, I surprised the girls with the picnic for breakfast.  I made sure to get the Rocket sandwiches with peanut butter, which I made out of homemade banana waffles.  I hadn't had time to make the Rocket muffins with chocolate chips, but the waffles had butterscotch chips in them, so I figured I had hit two birds with one stone.




One of her other requirements had been that we invite friends.  It didn't work out to have actual friends come over, so we invited some of our stuffed friends to join us.  Raspberry the bear, Lightning McQueen and Rocket were just a few on the guest list.


During the picnic I also remembered Eva's idea of Rocket movies, so they watched a couple episodes of Little Einsteins.



This was such a fun way to enjoy our breakfast and I'm so proud of my little girl and her creativity.  She's already telling me we need to have a Puppy Picnic, a Kitty Cat Picnic, a Lightning McQueen Picnic and so many others I'm having trouble remembering them all.  I'm guessing by her enthusiasm that our Rocket Picnic for breakfast was a hit with her as well.

Balancing the juggling act of kids, husband, house, career, meals, hobbies, friends, etc. is a stinkin tough job and most days I'm dropping the ball on at least a couple of them. Guaranteed if I'm doing well in one area, that means another is suffering.  Kids socks strewn about the floor and a mountain of laundry to be folded, but hey! a delicious dinner is on the table and the kids didn't just watch t.v. all day.  Or my perfectly spotless house meant no activities for the girls, a ton of discipline for the cranky, bored misbehaving children, and a stack of preschool prep still to get to.  Most days it's impossible to "do it all".

And yet some days, God gives me the grace and stretches each moment and hour to it's absolute max so life is abundantly full and everything is in its place.  Here was my day full of small graces that added up to so much:

Snow Day Play
I canceled my trip into town to cook at the Kitchen when we woke up to a blanket of snow.  We were creative, and played in the snow even though the temperatures outside would not allow it.

I would have also liked some squeezy medicine droppers, but didn't have any.  In any case, the girls loved scooping and pouring and mixing.








Bath Time:
A blue fizzy tints bubble bath and some Dora toys made for an almost hour long activity, warming up after we played in the snow.


We giggled and laughed as the girls were transformed into some of the cutest garden gnomes during our hair washing routine.



Nap Time:
A busy, rich weekend with the family and our Monday morning activities made for a house in need of a tune up.











Family Time:
And after our day of fullness, we found ourselves after supper with a clean house and clean kids and an hour to spare before bed.  So we played games.