Sorrow

I've spent bits and pieces of my morning reading blogs about what a great Mother's Day people had. I've also seen pics of friends Mother's Days on facebook....but I have to say mine wasn't so great.

A bit of a bomb was dropped at our church yesterday about changes in leadership. The pastor who started our church 7 years ago was let go....can you imagine? Being fired from something you started. There is much confusion, hurt feelings, anger and sadness. I'm not saying it was the wrong decision, I'm just saying both sides are hurting and it's a very confusing time. My husband is very close to the pastor who was fired....he has been my husband's pastor in some form or another for about 15 years. His feelings are strong in this situation and the hurt runs deep. We spent much of Mother's Day crying and talking about these changes and what it means.

I was kind of hoping with it being my first Mother's Day and all, that my husband would surprise me with a picnic in the park or something....or at least some good family time. But we were kind of caught off guard with all the happenings at our church. Instead we cried, we napped, we had a Big Mac picnic on our living room floor, and then the rest of the evening was spent talking about these huge changes with family and friends.

There is so much to figure out now....what is the root of all the changes? We just started our couples bible study and are supposed to be discussing yesterdays sermon tonight over dinner....I don't think anyone actually heard or remembers what our pastor preached about, and no one really wants to discuss the big elephant in the room either. So even though we just began our bible study last week, it may be put on hold for awhile. So many changes, so many things to figure out.

Oh and just to top off my sad mother's day post, I thought I'd add in a little "bad mommy-ism". We drove up north on Friday night because a friend was getting married Saturday. Eva is usually such a great traveler, waking up only to play for a bit and eat. We took Greg with us, and when we were about half way to our destination we stopped for a pee break. I switched Greg and sat in the back with Eva. I had taken her out of her car seat to stretch her legs, and when Steve was ready to go, I popped her back in and buckled her up. She was surprisingly really unhappy about this, and kept whining and crying. I thought she was just sick of being in a car seat for hours on end. It was really late (around 11pm) and she was still awake and making a fuss. I figured she was fighting off sleep and being really crabby about it. She cried and finally fell asleep only to wake again to whine for a couple minutes. She did this off and on for about half an hour, and it seemed she always woke to cry when Steve hit a bump in the road. After this had continued I started to realize that maybe something really was wrong. Then it hit me...."I haven't been able to find her little plastic doll for awhile...let me just check", and I reached in behind Eva (who was strapped in tight to her car seat) to find this plastic doll with a big red plastic head sticking into the middle of her back! My poor baby. As soon as the unpleasant obstruction was removed from her back she fell asleep and slept the rest of the way. Bad mommy! When we got to our destination, she still had a big round red mark in the middle of her lower back. She was fine, and she forgave me by giving me a sloppy baby kiss, but that didn't make me feel any less like poo.

Yep...a bad mommy and a pooey mother's day. Sorry to write such a depressing post. Mondays are bad enough as it.

4 comments:

varoneyclan said...

Kindra I'm so sorry to hear that your first mothers day was not a good one. I'm also sorry to hear about your pastor being let go. Things like that are never easy.. but I can tell you not to fell bad about the plastic doll ordeal, I've done that LOTS :) *hugs*

Carla said...

How disappointing for you! I'll be thinking of you and your church.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kindra, I'm also sorry to hear that your Mother's Day wasn't the greatest. I hope that everything will work out with time and that you can find some sort of meaning in all of this. Take care and I hope to see you soon :)
Tarilie

Vanessa said...

Nialle and I were really upset to hear about your pastor...we hope that everything works out for the best for both parties.

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