The Two Sided Coin....Where Both Options Suck

The last round of immunization shots for my precious girl were 8 months ago, and they have definitely crept up on me too soon. I get all panicky around immunization time - I think if I knew without a doubt, that I was definitely doing the best thing possible for my child it wouldn't affect me so much. But I don't have those feelings. I'm very on the fence about immunizations. On the one hand I want her to be protected against serious diseases....but on the other hand, I wonder what the heck she is being injected with and if it will cause serious side effects, allergic reactions, or worst of all, personality altering Autism. I'm not convinced that immunizations are the be-all and end-all and they are perfect and safe, and I sit there in the nurses office praying to God that we are doing what's right for our little girl and that He will protect her.

Not to mention the sheer pain that contorts her face, makes her little body cringe and sends her into shrill screams. Talk about breaking a mother's heart.

Eva had her one year shots on Tuesday which included one for Meningococcal....which also happens to be the one making her terribly sick. She was absolutely fine the day of her shots, but yesterday afternoon it must have hit her like a ton of bricks and she just started wailing. I was in the middle of feeding Brooklyn, so I was trying to pick her up and console and comfort her while shoveling food into Brookie's mouth. Brooklyn was getting frustrated, Eva was screaming and I was running around trying to find something to wipe Brooklyn up with, put his food away etc...I came back to the room to find my baby covered in her own vomit.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to cuddle her and comfort her. The meningococcal vaccine can make you have pain, swelling, a headache and overall just plain sore. Eva would cuddle with me but she would also be crying and writhing in pain because she just couldn't get comfortable. It was a lot of effort to lift her head, so she kept flopping over onto the floor or the furniture. When I would finally get her comfortable to fall asleep, she'd sleep in my arms for 30 minutes to an hour, and then wake up screaming in pain. And we'd do the whole routine over again. She also has a pretty raging fever.

My poor girl.

I stayed home from work today to take care of her. It's 10:15 am and she still hasn't woken up for the day. I've been so stressed and worried about her, hoping this is a normal reaction. If not...I did this to her. I made her in all this pain, because I put her through those shots.

Ugh...I friggen hate immunizations!

6 comments:

Vanessa said...

Do you feel comfortable putting off the immunizations? I've heard in Japan they wait until the child is 6 years old before they start immunizing. The theory is that then their immune systems are fully developed. It's a tough situation to be in - I feel the same way and cross my fingers every time we go to get immunized!

Kindra said...

Yeah that's a good idea...we could think about waiting to finish the immunizations. Luckily, everything was okay with her today...she felt much better and it was just a one day reaction. I sure felt relieved.

Mandy said...

I'm glad she is feeling better. Layla had her 1 yr shots Sept 29. But instead of giving her both shots, the health nurse recommended splitting them up. So Layla ended up getting the MMR shot and we go back in Nov for the meningitis one. I am so scared about immunizations too. After her reaction from the last ones we are definitely crossing our fingers every time!

Dallas said...

OMG! that's so scary. I'm getting nervous because Phoebes' 5 year shots are coming up and I HATE them! My girls never reacted to them when they were small (with the exception of the chicken pox one) but I always felt so horible inflicting pain on them and wondering if it was any good for them in the end. Even now, being older, it doesn't get any better. I don't think that waiting is a bad idea at all. I know quite a few mothers that do wait until they're older and more developed. Just listen to your "motherly instinks" you do know best....

Carla said...

When I read about how horrible the diseases we vaccinate for are, I force myself to believe these are a good thing. I've done quite a bit of reading and asking about Autism and they currently believe it is a chromosome thing. Canada does not use the agent suspected of triggering Autism in immunizations. On that note - this does not make it any easier to put our children through!

Sierra's been sick this week and it's not due to shots but it totally sucks to watch her going through it and not being able to make it better.

Kindra said...

Thanks for that info Carla. It's good to hear Canada doesn't use the agent suspected of causing Autism. I know they've never proved anything when it comes to Autism and immunizations, but it definitely eases my mind a bit knowing it's not even in there at all.

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