The last round of immunization shots for my precious girl were 8 months ago, and they have definitely crept up on me too soon. I get all panicky around immunization time - I think if I knew without a doubt, that I was definitely doing the best thing possible for my child it wouldn't affect me so much. But I don't have those feelings. I'm very on the fence about immunizations. On the one hand I want her to be protected against serious diseases....but on the other hand, I wonder what the heck she is being injected with and if it will cause serious side effects, allergic reactions, or worst of all, personality altering Autism. I'm not convinced that immunizations are the be-all and end-all and they are perfect and safe, and I sit there in the nurses office praying to God that we are doing what's right for our little girl and that He will protect her.

Not to mention the sheer pain that contorts her face, makes her little body cringe and sends her into shrill screams. Talk about breaking a mother's heart.

Eva had her one year shots on Tuesday which included one for Meningococcal....which also happens to be the one making her terribly sick. She was absolutely fine the day of her shots, but yesterday afternoon it must have hit her like a ton of bricks and she just started wailing. I was in the middle of feeding Brooklyn, so I was trying to pick her up and console and comfort her while shoveling food into Brookie's mouth. Brooklyn was getting frustrated, Eva was screaming and I was running around trying to find something to wipe Brooklyn up with, put his food away etc...I came back to the room to find my baby covered in her own vomit.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to cuddle her and comfort her. The meningococcal vaccine can make you have pain, swelling, a headache and overall just plain sore. Eva would cuddle with me but she would also be crying and writhing in pain because she just couldn't get comfortable. It was a lot of effort to lift her head, so she kept flopping over onto the floor or the furniture. When I would finally get her comfortable to fall asleep, she'd sleep in my arms for 30 minutes to an hour, and then wake up screaming in pain. And we'd do the whole routine over again. She also has a pretty raging fever.

My poor girl.

I stayed home from work today to take care of her. It's 10:15 am and she still hasn't woken up for the day. I've been so stressed and worried about her, hoping this is a normal reaction. If not...I did this to her. I made her in all this pain, because I put her through those shots.

Ugh...I friggen hate immunizations!